What Can I Say?

What can I say? I had a baby on Dec. 31st, 2009 and everything changed. I am in love.

Like all first time Moms, I have been staring, watching, observing, obsessing and searching for cues that might give me insight into who my daughter is. I am always asking, "What does she need? Who is she?" I realized after two weeks of newborn care that it will take me a lifetime to learn who my daughter is and I may never fundamentally understand what she needs.

What else can I say? I've learned very quickly that my genome science/project management skills are pretty useless right now and I don't have the baby-care skills to really care for my daughter in the way she needs. For example, she cried for the entire afternoon and I was unable to soothe her. But, the bottom line is that she is growing healthy and strong and that is all I pray for every day.

What else can I say? I'm thankful for the wisdom of all my girlfriends who had kids before me. They have a way of telling me their stories without dumping advice, guilt and judgment on me. And they're funny about it, which soothes my soul on my most anxious days.

What else can I say? I love my daughter in a way that is deep and profound. I smile every time I pick her up. We are in love.