Laser Eye Surgery

I took two and a half days off from work earlier this month for laser eye surgery.

I underwent the surgery without any drugs; no anesthesia, no Valium, no ibuprofen, no nothing. (But I did have numbing eye drops.)

I was totally, completely aware of what the surgeon was doing. I could smell the laser burning my cornea (it smelled like fried hair) and I saw the surgeon flip the corneal flap with a stainless steel poker. I heard him talking to the nurse about the hack magician David Blaine. And finally, I watched him swab off my eyeball with a giant piece of gauze held firmly by a pair of forceps.

I explained my experience to a professor at work and he was awed. He suggested that my ability to undergo this eyeball invasion was due to the fact that I am a woman and that we ladies can tolerate pain, fear, and freaky shit better than men.

Does anyone else out there share his opinion?

Excited

My first-ever business plan is sitting on the desk of the Scientific Director.

Not just a director desk in my unit, but the Director desk of the whole research institute.

Even if the Director doesn't read it, I am pleased it's sitting there. I am counting this as one of Life's Little Victories.

Dog Lessons

I am learning a lot about life from my new dog. Yesterday, I took her to our first training class and had an epiphany about dogs (and people).

Dogs will repeat unwanted behavior because they get attention for it. A dog would rather be yelled at or pushed than ignored. So, a dog will continue to bark, jump on you, bite your pant leg, etc. as long as you make eye contact, touch him, or speak to him. Even if the connection is negative, in the form of a stare, shove or yelling, the dog would prefer the negative attention.

The trainer called this concept "it is better to be hated than ignored."

In a nutshell, that describes every bad boss, nutty co-worker, and hysterical girlfriend I have had in my life. When I think back on all the moments of contrived melodrama in my life, my memories turn to people who were starving for attention. These are people who preferred the notoriety of their unacceptable behavior over being a nameless drone like the rest of us. Another name for this concept could be Britney Spears Syndrome.

Off topic......I have been taking a pause from the blog because I haven't been sleeping lately. (It doesn't help that the dog wakes me up before dawn.) Insomnia leaves me feeling high, but not in a good way, and now that the Vancouver monsoon is here it is a miracle if I can make it through the workday. I am taking fall and winter one day at a time. I have a new knitting project, the fall TV schedule, and a stack of books to plow through, so I am going to hunker down on the couch and zone out the rain. I find winter sucks the inspiration out of me, thus the bland blog. But I will be posting randomly when the writing bug strikes.

Have a nice winter, everyone.

Born to Run

Jesse the greyhound
Originally uploaded by nanodudek

I have been MIA from my blog because I recently adopted a senior dog. She has required TLC, a lot of time and some sleepless nights. Now that she has settled into a routine in our household, her training and breeding are starting to show.

My new dog is a retired racing greyhound. From what I have learned from her online race history, Jesse was a true champion. She won several races and came in second and third place in many races too. The track must have felt she was a great athlete because they kept her alive for breeding. She gave birth to 13 puppies from two different sires, and her puppies grew up to become champion racers.

After three weeks, I finally took her off leash for a run. I wish I were a better writer because I just cannot describe the way my retired racer runs. Her force and joy are so intense you can feel and hear her pound the earth. There is a part of me that fears her sprint, it is so powerful I am afraid she may get hurt.

But my greatest fear is that this beautiful animal might runaway from me one day.