Some Good News For A Change

It's been weeks of bad news here in Canada. Shootings at a University in Montreal. A collapsed overpass crushing motorists. Canadian soldiers accidently killed by Americans in Afghanistan. Global warming melting part of Canada and submerging the rest.

But today, finally, I read a shred of good news. An elderly Canadian school teacher has passed away (not the good news) and left $4.3 million dollars to charity (good news). This kind woman lived a normal, frugal life and made her fortune calmy and quietly by making investments. Upon her death she willed her fortune to The Canadian Nature Conservancy. Here I am, complaining about all the Canadian taxes bleeding me dry and then I read about this old school teacher amassing over $4 million dollars by living simply and saving wisely.

One of my original hypotheses about Canada was that Canadians are nice, and the life of Roberta Langrty supports my claim.

The Namesake

I'm a Steve Irwin fan. I really enjoyed watching him on Animal Planet and felt profoundly sad that he died earlier this month. I read a lot of the recent articles about him, his life, his family and his conservation work. And I am sorry that he died so young and his kids and wife are without him now. My fandom ends there. But check out this fanatic in Australia!

The CBC reports on a Croc Hunter fanatic who is going to feed his baby's placenta to his pet iguanas in Steve Irwin's memory:

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) - An Australian man who says "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin shaped his love for reptiles said Tuesday he plans to feed the placenta from the birth of his newborn son to his pet goannas, to bring his family closer to the giant lizards.
Wil Kemp, a reptile keeper at the Rockhampton Zoo in northeastern Queensland state, said his second son was born on Sept. 5, the day after a stingray killed Irwin as the famed TV conservationist filmed on the Great Barrier Reef.
Kemp and his fiance Kahila Pepper named the boy Tai Irwin - the former after the taipan snake and the latter after the television star.
Kemp said the couple planned to feed the placenta to their three pet goannas, which live in pits in the family's backyard, after a homecoming gathering on Sunday.
"I think we'll just break some beers, chuck it in and do it," said Kemp, 21. ............

This story is amusing and disgusting and endearing all at the same time. It is sweet that the baby is named after Steve Irwin. It is amusing that the proud parents are going to swig beer in the yard and toss the placenta out to the lizards. And how many people have lizard pits in their backyard? How cool is that?

But wait a minute. They kept the placenta and are going to toss it into the lizard pits? Aren't these parents giving the iguanas an appetizer? It's like giving them a preview of what the real deal is going to taste like. What if the iguanas LOVE placenta and can't get enough? What if they stop eating their petfood and start eyeing the baby? What if baby Irwin meets the same fate as his namesake? Will he too be destined to be killed by animals? I have visions of raptor like man-eating iguanas (or goannas as the Aussies call it) circled around the baby eyeing its chubby arms and legs.

Fastforward one year. Baby Irwin is toddling around the yard at his birthday party. All the adults are swigging beer. A videocamera records the festivities in the corner of the yard. No one is watching baby Irwin. He toddles over to the edge of the lizard pit. And he falls in. History repeats itself.

'I AM CANADIAN'

Here's a link to a Molson Canadian beer commercial for their 'I AM' promotion. Most of this commercial is true. Yes, Canadians pronounce the last letter of the alphabet "Zed". Yes, the beaver is the national animal, it is on the nickel. And for some reason, they do like to sew a flag patch onto their backpacks. But, I still hear 'aboot' coming from their mouths, no matter how much they deny it.

A Brush with Fame

Nancy: Hi Dan. I was going to do a blog about Canadian celebrities and then you came home with your Smallville story.
Correspondent Dan: what a coincidence!
Nancy: So, what's the scoop? Did you meet Tom Welling of Smallville?
Correspondent Dan: No. I met a set dresser/designer for the show.
Nancy: Bummer. But how did you get to meet a designer?Was she cute?
Correspondent Dan: I was sitting at my desk when two women walked into the lab and stopped in the doorway and talked to each other.I was like, "Can I help you with something?", because it is weird for random people to just walk into a lab and then not ask to see anyone.
Nancy: Did you wink at them when you said that?
Correspondent Dan: It turned out that the two women were: 1) the entomology museum director, and 2) a set designer for Smallville looking for an example of a science lab that works on spiders. No winking occured.
Nancy: Let's back up for the people who aren't TV addicts like we were.....Smallville is a show on the CW (formerly WB) about the life and times of young Clark Kent, before he becomes Superman. The show takes place in Smallville, Kansas but is really filmed in our town, Vancouver.So, what were they looking for?
Correspondent Dan: They were trying to get a feel for what a lab looks like. I'll be amazed if they produce anything even remotely realistic, since our lab isn't underlit with blue and red backlighting.
Nancy: And because the people in your lab aren't hot? (Except for you, of course) Or evil?
Correspondent Dan: I haven't been around lab long enough to make any blanket statements about my labmates' natures.
Nancy: I hope we get to see a lot of celebrities in Vancouver. Renee Zellweger was here the other night when we were in Blenz, some lady came in saying that she saw her on the sidewalk.
Correspondent Dan: We were close to Bridget Jones, but we did not cross paths. Pretty flimsy celebrity news.
Nancy: I agree, this is boring. Snoozeville. But, hey, who is your favorite Canadian celebrity?
Correspondent Dan: Does Canada have celebrities?
Nancy: I can name a ton........Peter Jennings, Alanis Morrisette, Celine Dion, Gretzky, The Barenaked Ladies, Norm McDonald, Tom Greene, Margaret Atwood, Pamela Anderson, Diana Krall, Joshua Jackson, Lynn Johnston (For Better of For Worse cartoonist), Kristin Kreuk (Smallvile's Lana Lang), Jason Preistly, Nelly Furtado, kd Lang, Michael J Fox, Joni Mitchell,Neil Young, Martin Short, Bryan Adams,Avril Lavigne,Dan Ackroyd, Alex Trebek,Samantha Bee, John Candy, Dave Foley, Erik McCormak, Mike Myers and Sarah McLaughlin. Oh yeah, and the other Lois Lane, Margot Kidder! Canada is like 6 degrees of separation from Smallville because Erika Durance plays Lois Lane on Smallville and she is from Alberta.
Correspondent Dan: Most of those people are famous not because they do things in Canada, but because they moved to the US and entered US pop-culture the normal US way.
Nancy: Who cares, just pick one.
Correspondent Dan: Speaking of brushes with celebrity, we almost saw Jason Priestly in a dog parade. He was the main attraction, but alas, he was lost in a sea of dogs...
Nancy: I noticed he was the Grand Marshall in the dog parade, but I didn't see him either. But I did see a dog in a diaper.You still haven't picked one. Focus, Dan, focus.
Correspondent Dan: Of your list, I'd go with Norm MacDonald. His sense of humor is pretty similar to my own. I have respect for a guy who can go on the Daily Show and make Jon Stewart feel bad about himself because he (Norm) is making him (Jon) laugh at Crocodile Hunter jokes a day or two after he (the croc hunter) died.
Nancy: Yeah, that was pretty funny in an a squirmy, uncomfortable kinda way. Ok, now you ask me.
Correspondent Dan: Well, it is your blog. Who is your favorite Canadian celebrity?
Nancy: Peter Jennings, hands down. And then the anti-Peter Jennings, Alex Trebek is #2.
Correspondent Dan: Peter Jennings was pretty damn cool, I'll give you that. Alex needs to grow his mustache back
Nancy: Did he shave it? I didn't even notice.
Correspondent Dan: A while back. It made the news. I'm not sure if he grew it back or not...
Nancy: Well, you have been an excellent Samosa correspondent. Will you come back with more Vancouver entertainment news? You can be like my Ryan Seacrest, only not really like Ryan Seacrest, cuz, uh, that would be awful.
Correspondent Dan: I'll do what I can. If Tom Welling walks into the lab at UBC one day, I'll try to get him to stop by for dinner. I'm not gonna hold my breath though
Nancy: Thanks, maybe by then I can find the iconic Canadian samosa!

A Misnomer

I saw a little blip on the Stanley Park map for "The Girl in the Wetsuit Statue." I thought it was an amusing title , so Dan and I went out in the rain to go find it.

We were walking along the seawall in our raincoats when we came around the bend. Dan saw her first, I was looking for a statue on the sidewalk, but he saw her out in the bay..... A life-sized woman sitting on a boulder, staring out into nothingness. It is a nice statue, and on a warm day I would have swum out to the rock and posed for a photo with her just for grins. But I can't help feeling irked by the title.

Obviously, she is not a girl, she's a WOMAN! Those two words, girl and woman, are used interchangeably if the woman is attractive. An attractive adult female is a girl or a woman. If she's ugly, then she's just a woman. Regardless of the title, the statue is pretty cool and it was a surprise to see it out in the bay.
Next post........celebrity Canadians. Stay tuned!

The Punjabi Market

Originally uploaded by nanodudek.

Today Dan & I took a trip to the South-central side of Vancouver to visit the Punjabi market. It is only about 4 blocks long, but it has all the essentials you need to get your masala fix.

There are several jewelery stores, clothing boutiques, restaurants, DVD/music stores and grocery stores. The prices at the grocery stores were pretty reasonable, we even saw one lady buying turmeric by the pound from the bulk bin. I am not sure what she is going to do with 5 pounds of turmeric, I only use a tablespoon at a time, but hey, it has been proven to prevent Alzheimer's so maybe she is onto something.

Afterwards, we stopped by Bombay Gifts for some aloo tikki (2 for $1) and the clerk gave us a taste of pistachio burfi for free. Usually, Dan shuns Indian sweets, but he really enjoyed it, so I bought 2 pista burfi and a besan ladoo for myself. That adds up to about 4 tablespoons of butter for me and 1 for Dan.

The best part of the Punjabi Market? The bilingual banners and flags. Check out the sari lady getting into her car with the club on the steering wheel. All she needs is a bindi, some bangles and sindoor in her hair and she is an authentic auntie!

Hopefully we can pack in a lot more tourism before the monsoon begins. I need to walk off all that butter. Tomorrow we are off to see "the girl in the wetsuit statue." I'll be sure to snap some pics!

Completely Off Topic

Frankfurter Crown Roast!
Originally uploaded by plushpuppy.

OK, so this post has nothing to do with Canada or samosas. But it is so hilariously horrific I had to post it.

In the 70's Weight Watchers published a set of cards with disgusting recipes and photos printed on them. You can see them here:
http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html

There is now a modern revival of these recipes. You can view the recipes reincarnated at the Flickr.com group "fluffy-mackerel".

Viewing the galleries is much like gaper's delay on the highway. You find yourself stuck in traffic, wasting time, but you just can't look away.

(Thanks to Samosa correspondent Juli for sending me to the candyboots site.)

Pop quiz #2........analytical!

Today I had to go get groceries. The real struggle with Canadian shopping is figuring out how much stuff you are buying. The retail prices are in both metric and English units. Some stuff is sold by the pound, like produce, and some by the gram, like butter. Some of the liquids are packaged the same as in the US, but the label reads metric. I easily identified the gallon of milk, but the label reads 3.78L. I still can’t figure out which was cheaper, the 500 mL carton of OJ I bought or the quart of OJ that was on sale.

Here’s a quiz to check your conversion abilities. Identify which quantity is greater:

1. 
   The world’s largest baby ever born (14 pounds 13 ounces) or 10 kilograms of Canadian Bacon?
2. 
   17C or 74F?
3. 
   1 gallon of milk or 4 L of Pepsi?
4. 
   5 kilometers or 7 miles?
5. 
   65 mph or 120 kph?
6. 
   30 miles per gallon or 30 kilometers per liter?
7. 
   a 1 oz shot of vodka or 5 mLs of maple syrup?

Visit the metric conversion calculator online if you need help.

Answers below……..

How did you do? I have a hard time with mass and fuel efficiency. Eight years working at the bench in a science lab and three years of running has helped me have a feeling for temperature, volume and distance. But it all flies out of my head when I am standing in front of the dairy case trying to figure out if 454g of butter is worth $6.99.

1. The bacon (although perhaps that baby is made out of bacon?)
2. 
   74F is warmer than 17C(63F), but even at 74F I need a sweater.
3. 
   4L of Pepsi is just a little bit bigger than a gallon of milk
4. 
   7 miles is farther than 5k (3.1 miles)
5. 
   120 kph is faster.
6. 
   30 mpg is 12.8 kpl. 30 kpl is70.6 mpg. Did you get that? So 30kpl is more efficient.
7. 
   1 oz is larger than 5 mLs.

It's Funny Because It's True

Pearls Before Swine by Stephen Pastis printed today 9/14/06

A Hockey Sweater

Earlier, I blogged about a quote on the back of the Canadian five dollar bill:

"The winters of my childhood were long, long seasons. We lived in three places - the school, the church and the skating rink - but our real life was on the skating rink."---Roch Carrier

I finally stopped by the local library, signed up for a library card and checked out A Hockey Sweater by Roch Carrier. I had to check out the English translation, as the original is written in French.

No spoiler alert here, because the story lacked an ending. Therefore, I feel free to discuss the entire plot without fear of a spoiler because there really isn’t a plot. Basically, the young author is a Montreal Canadiens fan in need of a new hockey sweater. His Mom likes to order her family’s clothes from the upscale Eaton’s catalog, which is written in English. Unfortunately, she only knows French and can’t properly fill out the order form, so she writes a personal letter to Mr. Eaton in French requesting a new sweater. When the sweater arrives, it is a Toronto Maple Leafs sweater ( the rival, losing team) and the author throws a tantrum. His Mom insists her son wear the new sweater, as she doesn’t want to return it and offend Mr. Eaton. He wears the sweater, feels that he is being discriminated against because of his sweater and throws a tantrum out on the ice. He is ordered to leave the ice rink and go into the church and pray. He goes into the church and prays for moths to eat up his sweater. The End.

I can’t say this book was a great read, the illustrations were chunky and the story ended abruptly. The author didn’t want to wear the jersey of a losing rival team, but in the end he was the loser, sitting alone in the church praying for God to smite his sweater. Talk about (er, aboot) a sore loser! While this ending was a realistic way for a kid to feel, I prefer my kid lit to have a heaping dose of 'life lesson' at the ending. Perhaps he could have given that sweater to a homeless kid? Or sucked it up and worn the sweater and made his Mom happy? Or got back into the game and kicked some ass wearing that Maple Leafs sweater and proven everyone wrong?

On another level, this story illustrates the problems Canada is facing by having two official languages. The businessman Mr. Eaton is bilingual, but the Mother only knows French. The error was a misunderstanding and generated some embarrassment on behalf of the Mother. But for the kid, the error was crippling. I was never an advocate for English-only mandates in America, but this book did make me reconsider my opinion. Perhaps it is for the best to have a single official language. What do you think?

How Do Canadians Feel About 9/11?

A new poll reveals that about half of the Canadians polled felt that they ''are personally tired of hearing about the events'' of 9/11.

This poll also revealed that today, 53% of polled Canadians feel that US foreign policy is to blame for 9/11, but that number was only 15% in the year 2002. Why the change?

Just a week ago American "friendly fire" in Afghanistan accidently killed a Canadian soldier and injured 30 other Canadian soldiers. Sadly, this is the second time American friendly fire has killed Canadians. It also happened in 2002, that time killing 4 Canadians.

Events such as these combined with the current state of Iraq has Canadians feeling critical of the US (aren't we all feeling this way?) Nevertheless, on the anniversary of 9/11 the major Canadian newspapers are running features on 9/11 and asking their readers to share their stories of where they were on 9/11, how they feel about it today, and publishing photo galleries of today's memorials.

So, how do Canadians feel about 9/11? I am too shy and too new to Canada to boldly ask Canadians this question directly. But all I can hope is that perhaps while they feel anger towards American foreign policy they feel empathy towards us individual Americans.

Canadians! In! Space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Atlantis shuttle mission was cancelled today due to a faulty sensor, but hopefully it will take off safely tomorrow, the 9th of September, without a hitch. The crew will include one Canadian, Astronaut Steve MacLean (Astronaut Bio: Steve MacLean (8/2006)) . It seems that he started out as an athlete and later became a laser physicist! Talk about a career change, from jock to geek in one decade. Best wishes for a safe journey to the Atlantis crew!

The Contender

I had a chance to do some sightseeing on Wednesday at the Granville Island Public Market. I was able to take the bus there and back for only $2.25,and it was pretty easy once I figured out which side of the street to board.

I was expecting to cross a bridge to an island, but it turns out the island is partially land filled, so it isn't literally an island. It has a lot of shops and galleries, plus a huge farmer's market and gourmet food. I had a hankering for a samosa, and I easily found the classic Indian samosa in a deli case when, lo and behold, its neighbor in the case was a local samosa! It was filled with locally caught salmon, dill and lemon. I bought one and brought it home for Dan, unfortunaltey, I am a vegetarian and I couldn't do the taste test myself. Dan was a willing particpant and ate it in aboot two bites. He said it was delicious, but he didn't think it was an iconic Canadian samosa. But for now it is a contender in my Canadian samosa adventure.

More Little Things

I finally have an internet connection at home! Yay! Thanks to my very handy landlady I can now blog to my hearts content. Here are a few more little things I have noticed about Canada:

• A flashing green light means the cross traffic has a stop sign, not a stop light. So watch out if you are crossing the street!
• My rental apartment has no fire extinguishers or smoke detectors
• You can’t call a US 1-800 number from Canada
• The Canadian banking industry hates their customers, and will charge them a fee for anything. Therefore, you are losing money by keeping it in a Canadian bank
• Canadians say they aren't like Americans, but they share a lot of the same bad habits (i.e. cell phone abuse)

Next post......"The Contender"!

It's The Little Things

Packing and unpacking really shakes your brain up so that you can't focus on any one thing, but I have noticed a few uniquely Canadian things during my short escapes outside the house:

• Public rest rooms don't provide toilet seat covers, that must be a California thing.
• Street parking is available in Vancouver, but it costs about $2/hour, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including holidays.
• Local grocery stores still charge a deposit on containers, a practice American stores abandoned in the 1980s.
• Gas is about 20% more expensive.
• There is a lack of tortilla diversity in Vancouver. There is only one size (burrito size) and they keep it in the refridgerated section.
• There are a lot of uppity English names all over streets in this town.
• Car insurance will cost me somewhere around $300 PER MONTH (which is still less than what my friend Darron pays). This is the only option, as the provincial government has a monopoly on car insurance.
• It stinks to be in a wheelchair or pushing a stroller in this town because the curbs are about 10 inches high and lack the sloping intersections that we enjoyed in California (score one for the Americans with Disablities Act).
• Actress Renee Zwelleger is walking around outside the coffee shop where I am typing this.

I am feeling pretty lost and burnt out these days, and tomorrow is Dan's first day of work, so that means it will be my first day of total and complete isolation in Canada. My goal is to get out of the house and do a walking tour of my neighborhood. I have a stack up of housework that I should do, but I can't bear dealing with all my material stuff again. After a week and a half of packing my junk, then four days of U-Hauling that junk, and then 4 days of unpacking my junk I am pretty fed up.

My goals for Canada:

1. Don't buy new junk.
2. If I have to buy something buy it used.
3. No shopping or eating at American chains (Dan wanted to use the wireless connection at Starbucks but I insisted on going to Blenz instead).
4. No TV! If you know me, you know what is a huge challenge for me!

Wish me luck!

First Impressions

I arrived in Canada on the 31st. I am swamped with unpacking, cleaning, and figuring out the lay of the land. Here is a quick run down of my first impressions, in no particular order:

1. The border guards are all good looking and young.
2. It was easy to cross borders into Canada, but there was a long line of traffic waiting to enter Washington.
3. Canaaaadians haaave aaaa distinct aaaccent, eh?
4. Canadians can spot a Californian accent quickly. (The lady in line at the U Haul depot knew I was coming from CA!)
5. Vancouver is beautiful.
6. The Community Center fitness programs are dirt cheap. I signed up for the running club and weight training for less than $200.
7. There are lots of bridges, but no tolls.
8. Canadians are as confused by the metric system as Americans are.
9. Men everywhere dress like slobs, Canadians included.
10. There is a provincial sales tax AND a governmental sales tax, together adding up to about 14%
11. Canadian and American Labor Day is on the same day.
12. It costs $0.51 to mail a letter within Canada and $0.68 to mail a letter from Canada to the US.
13. The local radio has stations in English, Hindi, Spanish and French.
14. Fresh produce is expensive.
15. Avocados at the market are from Mexico, even though California avocados are closer.
16. I am overwhelmed at my big relocation to Canada, but I don't feel homesick.
17. In order to vote absentee for the November elections I was supposed to fill out and return Form 76A, the Federal Post Card Application, which is good for only 2 general federal elections. After that I will have to reregister again.

More posts to come in the coming days if I have access to internet!